there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
