barbara walters just said penis...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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