if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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