You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
