I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
