I'm so fucking centered right now
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just had sex on a roof
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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