you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
