Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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