Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
