When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
