Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
