Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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