I puked a lego.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
