On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think people are normalizing furries
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
