I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
