her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
