We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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