it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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