she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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