woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
