i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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