So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
