Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
