Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
