Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
