I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize