What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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