Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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