garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
