I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
