Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
