I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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