if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
