apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
