Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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