Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
