would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
