i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
