I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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