Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
