she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
