omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
