Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
