I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's shark week go big or go home
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
