we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
