Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
