sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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