R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
