youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
