worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize