the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
