I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
