Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
