Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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