Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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