I take back everything I said about communal showers
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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