Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
