Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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