I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
