fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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