we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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