u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
