good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
