Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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