I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
