I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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