We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
