Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize